Tonight I poured out to Allah SWT

Tonight I poured out to Allah SWT. My imperfect intellect has let me down, my desires and mistakes piled up and so I could not take it any more. He SWT knows me best, my designer knows me best and I am not in need of anyone else. It feels safe and secure here. He is very Gentle, Oft-Forgiving, the Ultimate Merciful and Loving.

Tonight, I went to a meeting, meeting of someone I love in perfect peace and privacy. His love and mercy is ever extending and healing. He knows all my secrets and actions, my past and future and so with Him I feel very timeless - the true insurance I ever sought and was not offered in this life except through Him. I ask for His forgiveness with as much sincerity I can muster and pray that He protect me against my own lowly self. Lord is Kind and Ever-Forgiving, He is the Sustainer, The Powerful and the Just.

There is a lot of pain and concern in me, that if I depart from this meeting, I forget again and fall in to the old habits and mistakes. Oh Lord, I seek you constantly by your decree, I strive to think about you by your permission and ask you to protect my family and I, my community and nation and humanity. We are your mortal creations and you only know what is best for us. We submit to you fully.

You are the Unconditionally Loving, the Eternal Peace and the Permanent Enlightening Cause and Joy, how can I forget about your infinite attributes? How can I forget that you are the only reason something actually happens? How can I have so many worldly deadlines, thinking that my to-do list is causing me to get things done in this dunya? and how can I even be so occupied with the dunya in the first place to forget the vast rewards of the Jannat promised to those who work for it? Oh Lord, my heart has become rusty with self-delusion and neglect about my duties and the true values you have clearly demonstrated in your book, which arrived via your prophet PBUH. I have no excuses. I am just a lost soul without your light so please do not let me ever be blind to your all-extending light. You are the Light of the heavens and the earth and all that is in between, please take care of your weak slaves. Ameen.